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Co-parenting is a buzzword you will hear a lot about if you are in the middle of a divorce or custody case. Some people misunderstand what co-parenting is all about.
Co-parenting is not:
- Necessarily splitting your time 50/50 with your child. Co-parenting happens in any kind of parenting plan, on any kind of schedule.
- Spending a lot of time with your ex. You don’t have to physically be together to co-parent.
- A requirement that you spend time together as a family with your ex and your child. If this doesn’t work for you, don’t do it.
- Giving in to your ex about everything. Co-parenting means making decisions together, which entails compromise.
- Pretending there are no problems between you. You simply need to separate those from your parenting time
- As hard as it sounds. In fact, the more you do it, the easier it gets.
What co-parenting does include is:
- A realization that it is best for your child if you and your ex communicate about your child and try to coordinate your parenting in some way.
- An effort to keep your child out of the conflict that is between you. Discuss things when your child is not in earshot.
- Trying to show up to some events or activities together (or at the same time), so your child sees that you are still parenting together, if possible.
- Including your ex in your child’s life, including news from school, achievements, and current interests and hobbies.
- Finding a reasonable way to share holidays so your child has time with both of you.
- Understanding that you are two different people who parent in two different ways and that that is ok.
- Working together in your child’s best interest.
DeTorres & DeGeorge handles divorce and family law in New Jersey. Call us today to discuss your case.
