Understanding Domestic Violence: What It Is and Who It Affects

Domestic violence is a serious issue in our society and affects people from all walks of life in every socio-economic situation. Domestic violence includes not only physical violence, but also sexual and emotional violence and intimidation, economic isolation, harassment, cyber-stalking, as well as threats, kidnapping and vandalism. If you feel unsafe, you must reach out for help immediately, either by calling the police or going to a domestic violence shelter or someplace where your safety is ensured. The most important thing is the safety of yourself and your children.

Once you are in a safe place, you can reach out to your family law attorney to make decisions about how to stay safe and obtain a domestic violence restraining order. At DeTorres and DeGeorge Family Law Attorneys, we act quickly to ensure that all legal protections are in place to safeguard you and your children.

domestic abuse divorce lawyer hugging a young child who is scared

Defining Domestic Violence Under Law (Beyond Physical Harm)

The law recognizes that abuse often occurs behind closed doors and may be subtle or persistent, making it vital for victims to understand that non-physical actions can also qualify as domestic violence. If you are experiencing any form of intimidation, fear, or coercion from a spouse or partner, you may have grounds to seek immediate legal protection.

Recognizing Signs of Abuse

Recognizing the signs of domestic abuse is the first step toward protecting yourself and your loved ones. Warning signs may include frequent humiliation, threats, monitoring of your daily activities, excessive jealousy, or preventing you from seeing friends and family. Financial abuse—such as controlling money or restricting access to household funds—is also a common tactic. If you notice patterns of fear, secrecy, or anxiety around your partner, or if you feel unsafe in your own home, it is important to reach out for help. Our experienced domestic abuse divorce lawyers in New Jersey are here to listen and guide you through the legal steps to ensure your safety and well-being.

Immediate Steps for Safety: How to Get Help

Every state has laws criminalizing domestic violence and in addition providing protections of victims. If you fear for your immediate safety, call 911 or go directly to the police station. A police officer can guide you through the process of filling for an emergency domestic violence restraining order. In addition to seeking assistance from law enforcement, consider reaching out to domestic violence hotlines or advocacy groups that can offer confidential guidance and support tailored to your circumstances. These organizations can connect you with emergency shelters, counseling, and legal resources, empowering you to take the next steps toward safety and recovery.

Prioritizing Your Safety and Your Children’s Safety

Ensuring the safety of yourself and your children should always be your top priority when navigating a domestic abuse situation. Take steps to minimize risk by keeping important phone numbers easily accessible, and consider teaching your children how to safely seek help if needed. Discuss age-appropriate safety plans with them, and remember, protecting your emotional and physical well-being is essential. Seeking support from professionals or advocacy organizations can provide valuable guidance and reassurance during this difficult time.

When to Contact Law Enforcement or a Shelter

If you or your children are in immediate danger, do not hesitate to call 911 or your local police department right away. Law enforcement officers can intervene to ensure your safety and may help you access emergency protective orders. You can also reach out to a local shelter or crisis center, which can provide safe housing, counseling, and resources tailored to your needs. Making this call can feel daunting, but trained professionals are ready to support you and help you take the first steps toward safety and recovery.

Securing a Restraining Order: Your Legal Protection

How to Obtain a Temporary Restraining Order (TRO)

You can obtain a temporary restraining order by visiting your county court house or local police department. Restraining orders can be filed immediately or after the incident. A police officer or a court official will interview the plaintiff, asking specific questions relating to the incident. The judge will then enter a decision, either granting or denying the order. If the order is granted, the judge will sign the temporary restraining order and a hearing for the final restraining order will be scheduled, usually withing 10 days.

The Final Restraining Order (FRO) Hearing and Its Impact

At the Final Restraining Order hearing, both parties have the opportunity to present evidence, call witnesses, and testify about the incidents of abuse. The judge will carefully consider all the facts before making a decision. If the FRO is granted, it provides ongoing protection by legally prohibiting the abuser from contacting or approaching you and may address issues such as custody, financial support, and residence.

Domestic Violence & Its Impact on Divorce Proceedings

Whether you’re coming to us because the violence has ended your relationship, or your relationship has already ended and the violence emerged as you tried to navigate the divorce process, we have the resources available to help.

We take seriously the major impact that domestic violence has on divorce. Fortunately, the domestic violence law in New Jersey is drafted to ensure that a victim of domestic violence feels protected and safe. Going before a judge can help you:

  • Attain exclusive use and occupancy of the marital home, and
  • Obtain primary custody of your children during the divorce proceedings.

How Abuse Affects Child Custody and Parenting Time

When determining child custody and parenting time, the court’s primary consideration is always the best interests of the child. Allegations or findings of domestic abuse can significantly impact the custody arrangement, as judges weigh factors such as the safety and well-being of the child and the abusive parent’s fitness to have custody or visitation. In many cases, the court may limit or supervise the abusive parent’s contact with the child.

Financial Considerations in Abuse Cases (Alimony, Equitable Distribution)

When it comes to financial matters in abuse cases, courts may award alimony or spousal support to help ensure the victim is financially stable after leaving the relationship.

Get Immediate Help from a Domestic Abuse Divorce Lawyer

For help protecting yourself and your children from an abusive spouse, contact us now. As domestic abuse divorce lawyers, we will start working right away to ensure your safety.

The New Jersey Coalition to End Domestic Violence’s 24-hour free hotline for victims and their supporters is 1-800-572-SAFE.

For more information, please call us at 908-304-9679.

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What is a temporary restraining order (TRO)?

A TRO is a court order providing temporary protection to a victim of abuse, including but not limited to physical, sexual, mental and emotional, verbal and even harassment.

How do I obtain a TRO?

A restraining order can be obtained from the family court in the county where you live or the county where the abuser lives. If the courthouse is closed when you need to obtain a TRO, the police can contact a judge who can issue the TRO.

What information do I need to provide to obtain a TRO?

You will be asked to fill out a domestic violence civil complaint. In addition to your name and date of birth, you will need to provide the name and contact information for the abuser, along with any personal identifiers, such as height, weight, hair and eye color. Specific details of how, when and where you were abused, injured or threatened will need to be disclosed. Be as descriptive as possible.

What happens after the domestic violence complaint is filled out?

A judge will review the complaint and determine if sufficient evidence exists to issue the TRO. If granted, the TRO will be served on the abuser by the police and remain in effect until a hearing takes place to determine if a final restraining order will be granted.

What happens at the final hearing?

Several things can happen at the final hearing. If you change your mind about needing protection, you can dismiss your TRO. If you feel that you continue to need protection from abuse, you will have a trial, give testimony, and present evidence. The abuser will also be allowed to present evidence, give testimony, and cross-examine you. After your evidence is complete, the judge will decide whether you have established by a preponderance of the evidence that the abuser committed an act of domestic violence and whether you will need protection from the court to prevent abuse in the future. The third option at trial is to dismiss your TRO and enter into a civil agreement with the defendant containing no contact provisions. A civil agreement can also address custody and financial issues.