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When you decide to get a divorce, you do so because something is broken in your marriage. Deciding to end your relationship is a hard decision and one most people do not take lightly. You probably have heard conflicting messages about divorce. On the one hand, everyone hopes that a divorce will not become ugly. Your friends, family, and acquaintances are probably urging you to avoid an all-out war. Certainly when a divorce dissolves into warfare, everyone gets hurt, including the children. Being nasty for the sake of getting revenge or making a point usually backfires.
On the other hand though, the same people who are hoping your divorce can remain civil are concerned for you. They warn you not to let yourself be taken advantage of and to stand up for your rights. It is true that when you are getting a divorce, you must protect yourself and guard your rights.
These two pieces of advice are seemingly conflicting. On the one hand you are supposed to try to be nice to your ex and work out a civil compromise, yet on the other hand you are supposed to refuse to allow yourself to be taken advantage of. How do you do both?
There are several answers to this question. It is possible to work with your attorney who will protect your rights and make sure you get what you deserve while at the same time calmly resolving your divorce. Another option is to use mediation. You and your ex work with a mediator who assists you in working through the issues and finding compromises that you can both be happy with. Another choice is collaborative law, where your attorneys are focused only on a mutually agreeable settlement.
DeTorres & DeGeorge handles divorce, mediation and collaborative law for the Princeton and Edison areas of New Jersey. Find out how we can help you by calling us today.
