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Frequently, men experience a male midlife crisis, which often creates a strain on a marriage and in many situations can lead to divorce. So, what exactly is a male midlife crisis and at what age is a midlife crisis for a man? A male midlife crisis often refers to a “phase in a middle-age person’s life between the ages of 35 to 65 where they feel compelled to face or reevaluate their mortality, confidence, identity and accomplishments.” This term was first coined in 1965 by psychologist Elliott Jaques. Lachman ME. Mind the Gap in the Middle: A Call to Study Midlife. Res Hum Dev. 2015;12(3-4):327-334.
If your husband is having a midlife crisis, it can often lead you to experience feelings of abandonment and loneliness. A midlife crisis in men may often result in significant life changes, which can include buying expensive items or making uncharacteristic changes in life, such as changing jobs or hobbies or even cheating.
What are the signs of a midlife crisis in men?
Oftentimes, a man’s midlife crisis is characterized by trying to re-create their youth by dying their hair or their beard or becoming involved with a younger love interest. There are often six symptoms of a midlife crisis for a man, which may include feeling a need for adventure and change, exhibiting signs of depression, questioning long-held beliefs, expressing anger and blame, and straying from the marriage. Oftentimes these stages of a midlife crisis are marked by unusual sleep patterns, or unusual appetite or noticeable weight loss or gain, loss of interest in once enjoyable activities, sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, and depression. Kathy Meyer, Brides Magazine, “6 signs that your spouse is having a midlife crisis.”
Men may worry about how aging impacts their reputation or other’s perceptions of his masculinity or how age-related illnesses or health issues may impact his strength or desirability to other women. During a husband’s midlife crisis, he may also focus on whether he is successful in his career or how his career might have impacted his relationship with children and other family members. Good Therapy, Midlife Crisis, September 13, 2019.
How to deal with your husband’s midlife crisis
Your husband’s midlife crisis might not lead to a divorce, but it will most likely lead to a difficult time in your marriage. At times, a midlife crisis husband wants to be alone. It may be difficult to help your husband through his midlife crisis or understand how to deal with a midlife crisis husband.
It can be an opportunity for you and your husband to reconnect as your husband goes through this change. It’s important that you assess your relationship with honesty and it may be helpful to seek a therapist to help the two of you reconnect and gain perspective.
Some women feel like their husbands midlife crisis is killing them especially when a husband’s midlife crisis is hateful toward his wife. It is also not uncommon for a husband to have a midlife crisis after a baby is born .
Women often want to know whether or not their husband will come back after a midlife crisis or what they could do to get their husband back from a male midlife crisis. Counseling often works to provide support and understanding that a male midlife crisis is normal and fairly common, which can often lead to preserving a marriage rather than having a marriage end in divorce.
No matter what the circumstances are, understanding your rights and having a positive perspective on the situation and your needs and desires will be beneficial to you in the long run.
Contact our team of legal experts here at DeTorres and DeGeorge if you believe your husband is having a midlife crisis. If your husband is exhibiting signs of a male midlife crisis make sure that you are prepared to understand this behavior and make choices about the needs for yourself and your family going forward.
