Some of our clients describe their spouse as a narcissist and claim this as one reason for the demise of the marriage. While most people use the term to describe their spouse’s self-centeredness, narcissism is actually much more than that. A narcissist is arrogant, displays exploitative behaviors, has a sense of entitlement, and requires excessive admiration.
These particular traits can make a marriage difficult and a divorce unnecessarily protracted. In many situations, narcissists are abusive towards their spouses. Name calling, withholding access to money, and excessive control are just some ways in which a narcissistic spouse may make life miserable for their partner.
When an individual is involved in a relationship with a narcissist, they may not see a way to escape. Here are some steps that you can take to plan an exit from such a relationship. First, access to money may be difficult. It is a good idea then for you to begin opening small credit card accounts in order to establish credit. Have all statements and information related to these accounts sent to a family member’s or friend’s address. Second, if you have access to marital money, slowly moving some of the funds to a separate account may also be advisable for long term planning.
Third, it is always a good idea for you to begin seeing a therapist who can offer support through this process of untangling your relationship from a narcissist. A divorce from a narcissist is not going to be an easy road, and having an unbiased outlet to aid in processing the emotions that accompany a divorce from such a person will empower and strengthen you.
It is also important to understand from the outset that divorcing a narcissist may raise issues that you did not anticipate being in question. For example, despite you being a stay-at-home mother throughout the marriage, a narcissistic father may insist that he is the superior parent and force a custody battle or a costly custody expert. A narcissist may also take unreasonable positions with regard to alimony and child support due to his or her belief that they must be maintained at the same economic level despite the divorce due to their sense of entitlement.
Divorce from a true narcissist can be a difficult road. It is important that you are prepared financially and perhaps more importantly, emotionally, for the process. We at DeTorres & DeGeorge have decades of experience dealing with people divorcing a narcissist. We know how to manage the expense of divorcing someone with this personality trait. Our success rate in reaching a settlement in even the most difficult cases is exemplary. Call us today.