Feelings are certainly relevant during the early stages of a relationship. Our culture validates physical attraction, emotions, and shared interests as a perfectly reasonable basis for beginning a new dating relationship. Is the reverse also true – can a marriage end because one or both partners feels that what brought the couple together, over time, has somehow diminished? In New Jersey, couples can file for divorce for irreconcilable differences based on such feelings.
New relationships are sometimes intuitive, sometimes impulsive; some might even use the phrase “I just know” to describe their feelings about the other person. Now imagine if you had to prove, with evidence, feelings about your new love interest at the very beginning, in court, before the relationship could proceed. What if proof of compatibility, evidence of unshakeable honesty and fidelity, or a guarantee that circumstances would remain fixed and unchanged were requirements for a marriage license? Thankfully, that is not the case, and honestly, who could ever marry under those rules? So that logic should extend to provide an individual a way out of a marriage without having to prove a particular incident or reason that they have been harmed by their spouse.
Can a divorce on irreconcilable differences be granted because a couple’s feelings towards each other have changed?
If feelings alone are generally acceptable as a reason to pursue a relationship – even relationships that progress to marriage legally require nothing more than a license and official ceremony – are they also acceptable reasons to end it? Can an individual file for divorce for irreconcilable differences in New Jersey?
For many years, couples seeking to end a marriage had to produce evidence that the relationship was irreparably damaged. One partner had to prove in court that the other was somehow at fault for the relationship’s demise. Feelings of insecurity, disagreements over core values, violations of trust, or “growing apart” were simply not enough to be considered legal grounds for a divorce.
That is no longer true, according to New Jersey divorce laws. Irreconcilable differences have legal status as grounds for divorce here and in most other states.
What are irreconcilable differences?
The grounds for a divorce are the legal reasons a divorce is granted. Irreconcilable differences are considered one of six legal grounds for divorce in New Jersey. The majority of people who file for divorce in NJ use this “no fault” cause of action, as opposed to a “fault” cause of action, which requires proof of the allegation. Since New Jersey law was amended in 2007 to recognize irreconcilable differences as legal grounds for divorce, more than 50 percent of all divorces are filed for this reason.
In New Jersey an individual can seek a no-fault divorce for irreconcilable differences that have been ongoing for at least six months and with no progress towards reconciliation. Under these grounds, neither spouse is officially blamed for the divorce.
Some reasons an individual could file for a divorce for irreconcilable differences include:
- Loss of trust
- Disagreements on matters of finances and debt
- Disagreements about parenting and household responsibilities
- Diverging life goals (often described as “growing apart”)
- Lack of physical and/or emotional intimacy
- Personality conflicts
- Different political views
- Lack of communication
- Long distance separation (due to work or other obligations)
How to file for divorce in NJ for irreconcilable differences
To file for an irreconcilable differences divorce in NJ, you must meet the following requirements:
- You or your spouse must have lived in New Jersey for 12 consecutive months before filing for divorce;
- You or your spouse must have experienced irreconcilable differences for 6 months; and
- The irreconcilable differences are a reason that the marriage, civil union or domestic partnership should be dissolved; and
- You are certain there is no way to reconcile.
There is no need to accuse the other spouse of doing anything wrong when filing for a divorce for irreconcilable differences.
How do you prove irreconcilable differences? Does the court require proof?
A couple only needs to show that marital difficulties have continued for six months or more, and that time, counseling or assistance from the court have not been able to repair the marriage. Neither spouse accuses the other of doing something to cause the divorce, but both agree they still want to end the marriage, and are simply asking the court’s authorization to do so.
Here at DeTorres & DeGeorge, experienced divorce attorneys in New Jersey can answer your questions about filing for a no fault divorce due to irreconcilable differences. Contact us today to schedule a consultation with one of our divorce and separation lawyers. We are here to help!
Frequently Asked Questions about divorce on grounds of irreconcilable differences and other causes of action in New Jersey
Is cheating an irreconcilable difference?
If the court determines that your spouse has committed adultery, you may be able to obtain a divorce on fault-based grounds. At-fault divorce requires that one of the parties establishes specific reasons for the divorce.
What are the “fault” causes of action (grounds for divorce) in New Jersey?
- Extreme cruelty, such as physical or emotional abuse
- Adultery
- Addiction to drugs or alcohol, with refusal to seek treatment during the past year
- Desertion, physical or sexual abandonment for a period of at least one year
Is there an advantage to filing for a “no fault” divorce in New Jersey?
A “no fault” divorce is a good choice for couples who want an amicable relationship after the divorce, particularly couples with children, or those who prefer not to “air out” their disagreements in a legal proceeding. Also, unlike a “no fault” divorce, filing for a divorce under one of the “fault” causes of action requires proof of the allegation. The requirements for each vary, and are best handled in consultation with a New Jersey divorce attorney.
Are there any other “no fault” causes of action for divorce in New Jersey?
Before 2007, 18 months of separation was the only “no fault” grounds for divorce in New Jersey. In order to file under separation, a couple must physically live in separate residences for the entire 18 month period, and can only file a divorce petition at the completion of that separation. This cause of action has become somewhat irrelevant since filing a divorce petition for irreconcilable differences is often a simpler and expedited process.
Is alimony awarded when a couple divorces due to irreconcilable differences?
In New Jersey alimony is regarded as a way to maintain equitable finances and living standards. It is not meant to be a punishment for one spouse; instead, it is intended to ensure that neither party suffers financial damage as a result of the divorce. Factors the court considers include the incomes and earning potentials of both spouses, time away from the workforce, and whether either spouse has contributed to the other’s career advancement or education in some way. A New Jersey divorce attorney can advise you about your particular circumstances.