The goal for most couples seeking a divorce is to make the process as “quick and painless” as possible. This is certainly in their best interests, particularly for couples who will continue to have regular contact after the divorce, perhaps as partners in parenting, or in a business venture. An out of court divorce settlement is a good choice for most couples, but what if you can’t agree on a fair division of your assets, or your parenting roles post-divorce?
While a trial may give you the results you believe you deserve, there are no guarantees of the outcome, so it’s essential for you to understand your options. The first step is to choose an experienced divorce attorney who can help you navigate the complicated path that ends in a divorce settlement, with the best possible outcome for you and your family.
Can you settle a divorce out of court? In most cases, your attorney can help you and your spouse find enough common ground to settle your divorce out of court, which gives you more autonomy in decisions about your life post-divorce, rather than handing that authority over to a judge. While judges are able to make good decisions on behalf of families, they prefer that couples make choices for themselves and their children because they are in the best position to do so.
Divorce is a life-changing event, and there is much to consider. Anything you can do to reduce the upheaval in your life is pertinent, and avoiding a trial is one way to ease the tension as you go through this transition. There are generally 3 reasons to pursue an out of court divorce settlement:
1. It’s faster.
A divorce trial can take a year or more to end in a final decision. In contrast, in most cases you can finalize your divorce earlier without going to trial by settling out of court, often carving months off the process. Also, a trial is scheduled according to the court’s calendar, so you are at its mercy when it comes to scheduling. This may result in some very inconvenient timing that conflicts with your work and family obligations, vacation plans, or childcare arrangements.
A trial also necessitates advanced preparation, so it’s likely that you’ll be meeting with your attorney more frequently and subsequently accumulating more fees. As the saying goes, time is money. Speaking of money…
2. Settling divorce out of court saves money.
An out of court divorce settlement can help you avoid the court costs that accrue from a trial, and that is money that could otherwise be used for your family. And as we already mentioned, trial preparation will add hours to the fees charged by your divorce attorney. Again, that is money that could be better spent on things your family needs.
3. It reduces the stress on your family.
Is it better to settle divorce out of court when you have children? If you can settle your divorce out of court, it can reduce the toll on your emotional health. Remember, you are not in this alone, and the stress you experience can spill over onto everyone in your household. Pursuing a divorce out of court is just better for your children. Keeping your kids out of court can spare them from some of the most difficult and emotional aspects of the divorce process.
Is settling divorce out of court always the best option?
Most of the time, it is. However, it may be worth pursuing a trial if the outcome of the divorce could be significantly better for you and your family. For example, it’s possible that a trial could result in you being awarded a greater share of assets, or more time with your children, than what your spouse is willing to agree to in an out of court divorce settlement. A divorce lawyer can help you decide if a trial is the best direction for your case if any circumstances could reduce the chances of you reaching a divorce settlement agreement with your spouse.
On the downside, if your case goes to trial, you will be relinquishing the decision-making authority to the court, and you must accept the outcome, along with the additional time and expenses. So whenever possible, you should settle your divorce out of court, creating a plan with your divorce attorney to achieve that goal for the benefit of you and your family.
How to settle a divorce out of court
You will need to work with an attorney who can provide alternative dispute resolution in New Jersey. These methods of reaching an out of court divorce settlement include:
- Negotiation, where both spouses and their attorneys work toward a mutual agreement on child support, custody, and division of assets;
- Mediation, where skilled mediators try to facilitate agreements between partners who disagree on the terms of the settlement, or when communication has broken down;
- Collaborative divorce, a good choice if you and your spouse are mostly in agreement about the divorce; and
- Arbitration, by a skilled arbitrator whom both spouses have agreed upon in advance. Although you will have less control in your divorce settlement, arbitration is a good choice when mediation has failed to produce an agreement, while still avoiding the additional costs and delays of a trial.
So if the first step to filing for divorce is selecting my attorney, what should I consider in my search?
It’s true that choosing a divorce attorney is an essential first step. You should choose an attorney with a focused practice in family law. Ideally, you should consider retaining a certified matrimonial law attorney, particularly if your divorce will involve child custody, alimony, or the division of sizable assets and/or debts. During the initial consultation, discuss with your attorney your desire to settle your divorce out of court.
At DeTorres and DeGeorge, divorce mediators in NJ , our team of attorneys pride themselves on settling 99% of the cases they take outside of court. If your case, however, cannot be settled through negotiation or alternative dispute resolution measures, you can be assured of exceptional representation by seasoned trial attorneys. Our partners are among the 2% of lawyers in New Jersey that are certified in matrimonial law. Contact us today to schedule a consultation.